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Transcript:Mind Freakers
URL ** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccmYE6wCEHA .SBV Transcript 0:00:06.000,0:00:08.400 *music* 0:00:08.900,0:00:12.200 Harrison: So, Nikki... was THIS your card? 0:00:12.200,0:00:15.100 Nikki: *gasps* Oh my gosh! How did you know?! 0:00:15.100,0:00:18.300 Harrison: The answer is simple. It's magic! Tada. 0:00:18.600,0:00:20.700 Nikki: Of course! It makes perfect sense! 0:00:21.400,0:00:23.300 Crowd: *cheering* 0:00:24.700,0:00:26.500 Max: Hey, Space Kid, what's going on? 0:00:26.500,0:00:30.000 Space Kid: Harrison is doing MAGIC. He's incredible. 0:00:30.200,0:00:36.200 Neil: Pssh. "Magic". Come on, Space Kid, I expected better from you. There's no such thing as magic. 0:00:36.200,0:00:40.100 Nikki: Don't you say that, Neil! Just because YOU don't believe — 0:00:40.200,0:00:44.300 Harrison: It's okay, Nikki. Neil just doesn't want his mind freaked by my powers. 0:00:44.300,0:00:53.900 Neil: Sure, Harrison, that's it. It's certainly not because I believe in the fundamental laws of everything in existence, which goes against the slightest chance of magic even being possible. 0:00:53.900,0:00:57.000 Harrison: Then how do you explain... this? 0:00:57.000,0:00:58.600 Nikki: *gasps* I've got money ears! 0:00:58.600,0:01:03.800 Neil: Sleight of hand. The quarter's up your sleeve and the movement of your hand covers up the coin coming out. 0:01:03.800,0:01:04.800 Crowd: *gasps* 0:01:04.800,0:01:12.700 Harrison: I guess that's one way to do it, but that certainly doesn't answer... *drum roll* how these rings link together so effortlessly! 0:01:12.700,0:01:14.300 Crowd: *cheers* 0:01:15.200,0:01:17.300 Nikki: Yeah, Neil! 'Splain that! 0:01:17.300,0:01:26.100 Neil: Trick rings sold specifically for the purpose of that illusion. They're on Amazon for $12.95. Get rekt, Harrison. Why don't you do a real magic trick if you're so good? 0:01:26.100,0:01:35.600 Harrison: So, you want a real trick. Okay then, Neil. I'll perform the greatest trick of all! How about this?! Abracadabra! 0:01:38.300,0:01:40.200 Neil: Amazing, Harrison. 0:01:40.200,0:01:41.900 Max: Come on, Neil. Let's get the fuck — 0:01:43.700,0:01:45.600 Neil: Max? Are you okay? 0:01:54.900,0:01:56.900 Max: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! 0:01:56.900,0:02:00.100 Nikki: Oh! You just got Abraca-OWNED, Max! 0:02:00.100,0:02:01.700 Crowd: *cheers* 0:02:03.200,0:02:10.900 Harrison: Yes, and it would've been even better if it had happened to Neil as I intended, but you get the idea. Magic! 0:02:11.400,0:02:13.600 Max: I do NOT feel okay. 0:02:14.400,0:02:16.500 Neil: Whatever. It wasn't that cool. 0:02:16.500,0:02:19.800 Harrison: What's the matter, Neil? Did I freak your mind? 0:02:19.800,0:02:26.000 Neil: Please. That was lame. So I don't know how you did it, big deal. It's not like I'm gonna lose sleep over it. 0:02:28.000,0:02:29.000 Neil: Shit. 0:02:29.400,0:03:09.100 [ Camp Camp Song Song ] 0:03:14.200,0:03:15.900 Neil: Oh, good. You're awake! 0:03:15.900,0:03:17.100 Max: Neil? What are you... 0:03:17.100,0:03:30.900 Neil: I was just thinking about that trick that Harrison did yesterday. Not that I care about it, but I'm THIS close to figuring it out, and I just need to know, at what point did he surgically insert the handkerchief and rabbit into your stomach? Were you awake for it? Or did he put you under?! 0:03:31.600,0:03:33.700 Max: I... I don't want to talk about it. 0:03:34.000,0:03:41.500 Neil: Right, right. I mean no one wants to talk about it, it's just a stupid trick after all, but... what irks me is that the math just isn't there, you know? 0:03:42.100,0:03:49.200 Max: *coughs* Look, I don't know what happened. I just... I'm gonna go get some breakfast before this scars me for life. 0:03:51.300,0:04:00.000 Neil: Nah, yeah! No, that's fine. I'm about to figure it out anyway, even if I wanted to spend more time on it. Which I don't! Because I don't care! 0:04:03.100,0:04:06.300 Nikki: Amazing! Do it again, Harrison! 0:04:08.800,0:04:11.900 Harrison: Well, this isn't really how the trick is supposed to work... 0:04:11.900,0:04:16.300 Nikki: I don't care, this is awesome! The milk goes right through it! How?! 0:04:16.300,0:04:19.100 Harrison: That's kinda just like... normal physics. 0:04:19.100,0:04:26.300 Neil: Oooooh, NOW you're confined by the laws of physics? I thought it was... *gasp* MAGIC! Tada! 0:04:26.300,0:04:32.100 Harrison: Oh, Neil. Magic only works for those who believe in it. Like my new apprentice, Nikki, for example. 0:04:32.100,0:04:36.500 Nikki: Yeah! I believe! Cut me in half! I'll be fine! ...I'll be fine? I'll be fine! 0:04:37.000,0:04:38.800 Neil: Is he teaching you his tricks? 0:04:38.800,0:04:48.500 Nikki: Uh, yeah, he said he would. I wanted to learn Avada Kedavra, but he said it was forbidden or some junk. But I'm learning some serious stuff! Check it out. Pick a card. 0:04:49.100,0:04:52.800 Neil: Look, Nikki. You gotta get Harrison to teach you how to do that trick. 0:04:52.800,0:04:54.700 Nikki: But I thought you said it was dumb. 0:04:54.700,0:04:59.000 Neil: Forget what I said! I know he trusts you, and there's got to be something simple I'm missing. 0:04:59.000,0:05:00.800 Nikki: Okay, Neil. I got you, fam. 0:05:00.800,0:05:03.500 Neil: I don't know what that means, but thank you. 0:05:03.800,0:05:05.100 *music* 0:05:05.100,0:05:06.200 Max: *sighs* 0:05:06.200,0:05:07.400 Neil: Hey, Max! 0:05:07.400,0:05:09.000 Max: Oh. Hey, Neil. 0:05:09.000,0:05:14.700 Neil: Can you believe that kid? How does Harrison have the gall to do something so hurtful, ya know? 0:05:14.700,0:05:16.900 Max: Yeah. It's kinda shitty. I feel — 0:05:16.900,0:05:19.900 Neil: It's like he doesn't even care how this affects ME! 0:05:19.900,0:05:20.600 Max: You? 0:05:20.600,0:05:24.400 Neil: Yeah! How can he be so selfish? Hey, you gonna eat that? 0:05:24.400,0:05:25.300 Max: Uh... 0:05:25.300,0:05:30.600 Neil: I'll figure it out, though. Just wait and see. So, how's your day going? 0:05:31.300,0:05:36.900 Max: *throws up bouquet of flowers* I, um... I'm gonna go sit in the shower for a while. 0:05:38.000,0:05:39.500 Neil: Bye, Max! 0:05:39.500,0:05:42.800 Nikki: Neil, I'm back! And I have some great news. 0:05:42.800,0:05:47.300 Neil: Nikki! Did he teach you the trick? Did he reveal his secret? Masked Magician style? 0:05:47.300,0:05:52.000 Nikki: No, but he did say that if I keep training, I could get a cool top hat like his! 0:05:52.000,0:05:54.500 Neil: NIKKI! You were supposed to get him to teach you. 0:05:54.500,0:06:02.200 Nikki: I know, but Harrison said that trick is only for a level-four magician. He also said it's easy to figure out if you're smart enough, anyway. 0:06:02.200,0:06:04.100 Neil: Excuse me? 0:06:04.100,0:06:08.800 Nikki: It's okay, Neil! I'm not smart enough either! We can be stupid together! 0:06:08.800,0:06:09.300 Neil: *slurp* 0:06:09.300,0:06:09.800 *coffee cup cracks* 0:06:10.200,0:06:16.200 Neil: Well, if he thinks it's so easy, I guess we might as well TRY IT. YOU WANT TO LEARN MAGIC, NIKKI? 0:06:16.200,0:06:17.700 Nikki: Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! 0:06:17.700,0:06:21.500 Neil: Well, consider yourself MY apprentice now. 0:06:21.500,0:06:28.500 Nikki: I don't know, Neil. There's still so much I need to learn. I've got to reach level four, and I haven't even been sorted into a house yet. 0:06:28.500,0:06:32.000 Neil: Okay, fine. I hereby christen you level four as of this moment. 0:06:32.000,0:06:34.800 Nikki: Oooh. I feel all tingly. 0:06:34.800,0:06:40.200 Neil: Now focus! We're gonna do this trick. And we're gonna do it... with SCIENCE. 0:06:42.200,0:06:42.700 Nikki: ...'Kay. 0:06:44.500,0:06:49.900 Harrison: ...And presto! Just like that, Ered's bad report cards disappear! 0:06:49.900,0:06:51.100 Crowd: *applause* 0:06:51.100,0:06:56.800 Ered: Right on, Harrison. I was just gonna throw 'em away, but that was way cooler. 0:06:56.800,0:07:06.800 Neil: Ladies and gentlemen! Your attention please! Prepare to be dazzled by the magic of... SCIENCE. 0:07:06.800,0:07:08.400 Crowd: *collective ooohing* 0:07:08.400,0:07:09.800 Harrison: What do you think you're doing? 0:07:09.800,0:07:15.700 Neil: Oh, nothing. Just proving that any idiot with half a brain can do that trick you pulled off yesterday. 0:07:15.700,0:07:18.200 Space Kid: Wait, are... are you calling yourself an idiot, Neil? 0:07:18.200,0:07:20.900 Neil: SHUT UP SPACE KID. I'm trying to prove a point! 0:07:20.900,0:07:22.300 Space Kid: Yeah, okay! 0:07:22.300,0:07:27.000 Neil: You see, fellow campers, Harrison has been lying to you. 0:07:27.000,0:07:28.200 Crowd: *gasps* 0:07:28.200,0:07:47.300 Neil: He would have you believe that things like magic really do exist, but we know that's not true! Magic goes against the very laws of nature. Everything can be explained by SCIENCE. Even his tricks! So, to prove him wrong, I am going to re-create his magic trick. 0:07:47.300,0:07:48.900 Crowd: Ooh! Ah! 0:07:48.900,0:07:52.800 Harrison: Neil, don't do this! You're not properly trained in the ways of magic! 0:07:52.800,0:08:02.300 Neil: YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, HARRISON. Someone has to keep order in this chaotic, uncertain world, and it's gonna be me. 0:08:02.300,0:08:05.000 Nikki: Neil, are you sure about this? 0:08:05.000,0:08:14.300 Neil: I believe in the science, Nikki. That's all the certainty I need. In order to begin the trick, I would ask my assistant to please open her mouth. 0:08:14.300,0:08:17.200 Nikki: You got it, boss! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... *continues in the background* 0:08:17.200,0:08:28.900 Neil: Now, look and be amazed, as I revel the truth using my scientific equation, which shows there is only one way something like this is physically possible. 0:08:28.900,0:08:32.300 Nikki: ...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... *gags* 0:08:33.600,0:08:36.400 Dolph: Oh my God! Science has gone too far! 0:08:36.500,0:08:38.400 Harrison: Neil, what are you doing? 0:08:38.400,0:08:40.700 Neil: YOU MADE ME DO THIS, HARRISON. 0:08:40.700,0:08:42.400 Ered: Somebody stop him. 0:08:42.400,0:08:46.200 Harrison: It's too late. His mind has been freaked too hard. 0:08:46.200,0:08:48.100 Preston: Where are the counselors?! 0:08:48.100,0:08:49.100 *silence* 0:08:49.100,0:08:54.900 Bob Ross: Shoot, why don't we just put a happy little tree right here? There. 0:08:55.700,0:08:57.800 Gwen: Wow, this is so relaxing. 0:08:57.800,0:09:00.200 David: I feel like we were supposed to be doing something. 0:09:00.900,0:09:02.000 Gwen: Nah. 0:09:02.000,0:09:04.100 Bob Ross: If you ever paint along with us at home — 0:09:04.100,0:09:06.300 Nikki: *choking* 0:09:06.300,0:09:10.000 Harrison: Neil, this isn't how the trick works! You're going to kill her! 0:09:10.000,0:09:16.800 Neil: The only thing I'm killing is your hocus-pocus bullshit, Harrison! Here comes the rabbit, Nikki. 0:09:19.900,0:09:21.900 Neil: Well, how do ya feel? 0:09:21.900,0:09:25.900 Nikki: Huh. To be honest, I feel pretty good — *starts dying* 0:09:26.900,0:09:34.700 Neil: Uh... Nikki? What do we do, what do we do?! I can't do the Heimlich, I'm not certified! 0:09:34.700,0:09:36.600 Harrison: I can help her. I know a spell that will — 0:09:36.600,0:09:41.100 Neil: NO! NO MAGIC. We're going to save her with SCIENCE. As soon as I figure out how. 0:09:41.100,0:09:47.700 Harrison: There's no time! We have to use the spell! But... it is powered by belief, Neil. It's like a spirit bomb. 0:09:47.700,0:09:49.500 Dolph: Neil! You must believe! 0:09:49.500,0:09:52.400 Ered: Yeah, Neil. Believe in the magic. 0:09:52.400,0:09:53.900 Nurf: Believe or I'll punch you! 0:09:55.000,0:09:56.600 Nikki: *squeaks* 0:10:01.100,0:10:02.800 Neil: Max! What do I do?! 0:10:03.400,0:10:06.500 Max: *vomits a bird* I think I'm gonna be sick. 0:10:07.800,0:10:09.600 Neil: *whimpers* 0:10:09.600,0:10:11.800 Harrison: Neil, just believe! 0:10:11.800,0:10:15.600 Neil: Fine, yes! I believe. I believe in magic! Just do it! 0:10:17.200,0:10:25.500 Harrison: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the greatest trick of all. Getting a cynical, closed-minded asshole to believe in magic! 0:10:25.500,0:10:26.700 Crowd: *cheers* 0:10:28.500,0:10:30.200 Neil: B-but what about Nikki? 0:10:30.600,0:10:33.200 Nikki: Tada! Magic! 0:10:33.200,0:10:39.400 Neil: *yells* But... how? How are you okay, Nikki?! 0:10:39.400,0:10:43.100 Harrison: I keep telling you, Neil. It's magic, silly! Boop! 0:10:43.100,0:10:44.500 Crowd: *applauds* 0:10:47.400,0:10:49.200 Neil: Fuck you, Harrison. Category:Transcripts